I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
