yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
