sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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