I'm so fucking centered right now
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
