The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
