the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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