Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
