I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
