fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I will die if light touches me.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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