I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
