He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
