Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
