Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
