I haven't been this sober since birth.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i dont even know how to be here
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
