I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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