Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
