they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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