ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
