If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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