She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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