Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
