I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Vodka?
Forever.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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