Dual....:-)
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
