if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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