I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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