I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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