i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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