I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
