I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
