its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
