I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
