I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
