Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
