I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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