I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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