Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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