I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's rum buckets o'clock
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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