I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
