Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
