Can Purell be used as lube?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
