Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
