Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she told me i tasted like america
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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