Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
