Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
