this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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