he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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