I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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