bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
