you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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