Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
